The Breach in Reality
by coolgatomon
Summary: (pg-13 just in case anyone is offended by insults to primates, humans, and uninteligent blue-haired people.) Unoriginal characters based on real people. Probably.
1. Another One!

Chapter 1: Yeargh!  
  
Kei was mad. During class that day, he had fallen asleep. It wasn't his fault; Mr. Abukara was the worst chemistry teacher ever. Kei wished he were one grade higher, in biology. Then he could spend all day staring at the female members of his grade, claiming to be "studying". Mayuko, his very dear friend since the age of two, would probably not believe him, but that just meant he would need a vantage point better than behind a stack of books.  
  
But that's beside the point. He was given a week in detention for the rest he took during 5th period. That meant he would have less time with his new computer. His new, shiny, super-fast, huge, beautiful, delicious, perfect, beloved, excellent, expensive. .. well, lets just say it was a pretty darn good computer, and Kei wanted as much time on it as possible. Now, with track and detention, his calculations showed that if his life continued this way, he would only ever get .3 seconds on it each week.  
  
I never said he was good at math.  
  
Anyway, it was adding insult to injury that he just got the latest computer game from Nonami, Non-Metal Equipment Gas. It cost him a lot of money, too.  
  
That Friday, there was a thunderstorm, so the track meet was canceled. Kei got the level four key card in NEG, but the power in his house went out. The lesson you can get from there: always save your game.  
  
After a few minutes of violently swearing, he slouched into his living room. His mother was telling a story to some company she had over. Some government guy and his entourage.  
  
"So, as I was telling the other presidential candidate, she had this gopher, and you wouldn't believe what he could do. And the lobster pencils weren't very enterprising, either. Hmm? Oh. I guess your eleventh-grade math teacher's parrot's dental floss is more important than this vote, so I'll be seeing you soon." She seemed surprised that he stood up and left before she even finished saying it, but then, her ramblings are the most evil things on the planet.  
  
Kei went back to his room. It was around six o'clock, so Kei had fifteen minutes to sit in the dark before dinner. Instead, he messed with his digimon card deck. There were approximately five cards he couldn't decide whether to keep or put into his album. The area he lived in didn't have any fun expos, so he and his friends normally held digimon tournaments every Saturday.  
  
His original card, Ubeekimon, was the worst among the four his friends had (In his opinion. Self-esteem problems, eh?). The worst art, too. It had an attack of 7, defense of 3, and speed of 20. His compadre Ebizo had a well balanced RubyTentomon; attack was 7, as defense was 18 and speed was 5. Mayuko, who only ever played because her mother wouldn't let her leave the area without an army of bodyguards, had one called Triggamon. It had attack of 20, but defense and speed of 5. At the end, there was the enigma Zenko. His card was named Samurmon. Perfectly balanced with 10 in each stat.  
  
Not that it mattered much. In Kei's opinion, all that mattered in the game was powering up. You can be the weakest ever, but you win with power-ups. That's why he only had about seven actual digimon in his deck.  
  
He decided to remove Ubeekimon from his deck and replace it with an Air Bomber.  
  
After a bit of hypothetical matchmaking, it was time for dinner. Cheesy pasta. Again. It was Kei's favorite dish, but it was getting ridiculous!  
  
Nothing worth noting occurred for the rest of the night.  
  
The next morning was bad as well. It continued raining, so he and his friends stayed at Kei's pad as opposed to their usual choice of the pond. It wasn't really much of a pond, but there were more living fish in there than most other places.  
  
Zenko rarely played cards with them, considering they hardly knew him, but he'd battle when he wanted to. He tended to win, so Kei would never bet anything on the matches.  
  
Anyway, at Kei's house, Mayuko and Ebizo were discussing money and time and the root of all evil. Eventually, they reached the conclusion that no matter what, homework could beat cheese in terms of power and eviliciousness. After that, Ebizo got mad and challenged Mayuko to a match. He can't stand losing and such, you see.  
  
The match began simply, with Mayuko sending a Gabumon, which she then played an Instant Digivolve card on to make it a Garurumon.  
  
"HA! Ya can't beat me, I've got the best cards!"  
  
Did I mention how egotistical she was?  
  
Ebizo quickly countered with his RubyTentomon card, and then discarded two of his cards to use the Double-Stat card, which he used to get Ruby's stats up to 14, 36, and 10.  
  
"What are you playing at, Ebizo? That's still less than my Garurumon's stats!"  
  
"Just wait."  
  
Kei glanced at Ebizo's hand. He only had one left, but it could win him the match, then and there.  
  
"Well? Can I have my turn now, or do you have another digimon?" Miyako asked, her mouth half full of leftover cheesy pasta.  
  
Ebizo hesitated, then replied, "Nah. you can go."  
  
Mayuko drew a card. A glint temporarily appeared in her eye, but she just attacked and defeated RubyTentomon.  
  
"dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot. . . DOOT!" Kei beeped, as though this were the Yu-Gi-Oh! television show.  
  
"Quiet, you," Ebizo muttered to Kei.  
  
Ebizo drew, and then he used the card he should have used last turn to be able to beat Mayuko's Garurumon quickly. Using the Recycle Bin card, powered up with his newly drawn Overdrive card, he returned RubyTentomon to its double-stat glory, and also allowed Ebizo to search his deck for another digimon, it being the card's overdrive effect. He sent out a Tapirmon, and both digimon beat the Garurumon.  
  
Miyako responded with another Overdrive card, used on her newly acquired Triggamon. Triggamon thus had the overdrive's digimon effect, allowing it to attack twice. It beat the Tapirmon, but only brought RubyTentomon down to sixteen.  
  
"Ha! Triggamon: the Lone Gunwoman wins again! You can't beat her now!" Triggamon: the Lone Gunwoman was what Mayuko called Triggamon. Possibly because of her double pistols.  
  
"Not yet. I think he's got another trick here." Kei hoped. Ebizo was Kei's best friend in the world, even if he couldn't play digimon well.  
  
Ebizo drew his salvation. Kabuterimon. He digivolved Ruby into Kabuterimon, which nearly defeated Triggamon.  
  
"Ha! I'm going to win!"  
  
Mayuko made a growling noise and drew. She smiled.  
  
"Starmon. Triggamon digivolves and attacks your Kabuterimon twice to bring him down. Haha!"  
  
Kei smiled. Mayuko was still no different.  
  
He paused.  
  
"Hey guys. . . Wasn't it raining a minute ago?"  
  
"Good point, man," Ebizo concurred.  
  
"The rain stopped, dip wads," Mayuko grumbled, "But since it's Saturday, let's go to the Pond!"  
  
"Okay, Mayuko. . ." Kei said, reluctantly, "Let's go!"  
  
And so they got their cards and left the room.  
  
~ end chapter 1 ~  
  
HOW EXCITING!!!! ENJOY, AND REVIEW!!! I'm not going to continue until I get three reviews, so please! 


	2. KRAFT’S CHAPTER TWO OF DOOM!

KRAFT'S CHAPTER TWO OF DOOM!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
WHOOMPH!  
  
The ground hit my head like an elephant-wearing blindfold. Or is that a blindfold-wearing elephant? Who cares?  
  
I WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!  
  
And to think I thought I died! Victory for the little guy again!  
  
"Thank the digital deities!"  
  
{After a fight with the most powerful being in the digital world, one would expect me to get off far worse than a mere roller-coaster ride and bonk on the head. Then again, I also expected to be revered as King of the Digital World from the start.  
  
Well, might as well get started finding my way back. Where is my partner? That loser couldn't find his necktie in a blizzard, much less a digimon on the ground. How to get his attention. Maybe I could start a fire!  
  
No, arsons aren't good.  
  
Think-think-think. I like hunny. I should stop reading Winnie the pooh.}  
  
Suddenly, my ears perked up. Who knows why, but I had an insane urge to walk down the hill I had fallen on. As per my motto, (Only use brain in emergency) I took a back seat and rolled down the protrusion of land. After a few minutes of attempts to stop the rolling, I stood up, as much as a small white monkey with roughly half inch high feet could. I stood, just not very far up. Yeah, that sounds right.  
  
The ground had a lot less grass where I landed. It was rock-hard and gray. Along the odd material a ways, I found a huge amount of shiny metallic objects arranged to look like an. arrangement of shiny metallic objects. Having nowhere better to go, I examined it closer. That took a while, considering how big and far away it was.  
  
I was near a protrusion likened to a wall. That was lucky, because a few hundred bullets whizzed directly by my left ear. I flattened myself against the metal shield and crouched as low as possible.  
  
"Come out and fight, you cowardly coward!" A feminine voice, presumably my assailant, called out.  
  
"If I come out, you'll shoot me!" I replied, like the cowardly coward that I apparently was.  
  
"What makes you say that?" The voice asked.  
  
"You just tried to shoot me," I maintained.  
  
"Well, maybe I mistook you for another person," The voice argued.  
  
"Then whom did you mistake me for?" I wondered.  
  
"This person I dueled a short while ago," The voice answered, with quick resolve.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"A stupid little insect. My bullets barely got through his shell,"  
  
"Wait. If you dueled, then presumably it was to the death, right?"  
  
"Well, we ended up mutually agreeing on a tie."  
  
"I guess that makes sense."  
  
I stepped out in order to hopefully glimpse my attacker. Bad choice.  
  
"Lead Zeppelin!"  
  
Out from nowhere, a giant bullet flew right up and was about to destroy me most eviliciously, but I jumped back and quickly attacked.  
  
"Arctic Freeze!" I knew it was desperate, but the humongous projectile actually froze. How very lucky it was too. I got a good look at my assailant. She greatly resembled a dead cowboy, apart from a well- tanned face, long brown hair, and guns the size of hippopotamuses. Oh, and the lizard-tail was a tip-off, too.  
  
I knew I had seen that tail before.  
  
"Lead Zeppelin!"  
  
No time to think! I had to finish the fight, and fast. I couldn't risk damage to the structure, one perfect hit and the building's supports would collapse, bringing the whole thing down on top of us!  
  
"We've got to stop fighting! I am without the slightest idea regarding who you are, but if you keep blindly shooting, something's going to fall and we're going to die! I don't know about you, but I value my bristly fur over everything else!" I bellowed.  
  
Suddenly, the ceiling shifted.  
  
"I have a good idea," I continued.  
  
"What is that?" The lone gunwoman inquired.  
  
"RUN!" I replied, and obeyed my own direction.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Right, and. There's chapter two, even without the three reviews. Well, what does it matter? I like the writing and my bad ideas overflow already. Right, well, there we go, expect another chapter, in Kei's third person limited, sometime before March. Peaces! 


	3. CHAPTA THREE!

I Pity Da Foo' Dat messes Wit' Chapta Three!  
  
(Disclaimer-I am not owning digimon in any way and do not mean what Kei says about Nevada.)  
  
The Pond was wet. Very wet indeed. It was wet, of course, due to the fact that it was a body of water. The land around the pond, however, was wet because it had been raining all morning. But that doesn't matter, because what happened there doesn't matter towards the story. What does matter is that Kei was in his room doing homework the rest of the weekend and thus didn't see explosions coming from the construction area nearby.  
  
"I haven't heard explosions coming from downtown. Nosireebob. And I'm certainly not going to investigate it, because Author enjoys drawing out what is bound to happen," Kei muttered to himself whilst writing a report on how Coco Puffs were the harbingers of the apocolypse. His creative writing teacher was insane.  
  
Monday at school, all of the learners were abuzz about the new student. All they knew, however, was that she was a girl. They had pasted her class schedule next to her homeroom-also the homeroom Kei and Ebizo were in.  
  
Ebizo's locker was next to the door. He was checking for any classes they had in common when Kei walked over, books in hand.  
  
"So, ya think the new girl will be hot?" Ebizo asked, hopefully.  
  
"I dunno, but she's from Hickville, USA. Or, to put it another way, Nevada," Kei replied.  
  
"Oh. Well, would she be intelligent enough to cheat off-" Ebizo's second question was cut short by the sight of the new girl walking down the hall. "Well, looks like her previous home doesn't matter, she is hot," Ebizo gasped in wonderment.  
  
He immediately rushed over to begin a torrent of "If I said you had a. .."s and "You must be Jamaican. .."s directed directly towards the new person. If only Ebizo had checked to see her name.  
  
"And let the hitting on begin. Toni. .." Kei said, denoting Ebizo's black eye by third period and the newcomer's name.  
  
Reaching into his locker, he grasped an odd gizmo. Taking it out, he saw it as a watch. Remembering his old one got busted in a scuffle with Ebizo, Kei strapped it on and went to homeroom.  
  
And by math class, Kei was right. Ebizo coasted in from his second period class, only saying, "I think I'll stick with my limit-Mayuko."  
  
Which of course sparked another topic.  
  
"By the way, have you seen Mayuko around at all?" Kei asked.  
  
"Nope. Maybe she's off with the mafia," Ebizo pondered.  
  
"Hey, there's Toni!" Kei whispered.  
  
She either heard him or just randomly chose a desk, because she sat at the desk right behind them.  
  
Kei took that moment to memorize Toni's appearance. She was tall, thin, brown haired. She was wearing a coat, leather, and dark blue jeans. She had glasses, though they were not over-emphasized. There was something odd about her face though, not inhuman but not fully human, either.  
  
The rest of trigonometry passed without a hitch, except for when Tommy Tom-Tom Tompkins leapt up and screamed "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, HUMANS! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" and ran out of the building.  
  
What happened after school was the weird part. Kei was walking towards the athletic field for dodge ball, when he saw Toni walk into the shadows. Kei decided to follow.  
  
She was leaping through the darkness, trying not to be seen by anybody, but Kei had learned the best places to go in his feeble attempt to escape detention.  
  
He followed, ducking, diving behind her previous cover. Eventually, they left school grounds and were at the nearly destroyed construction site that Kei was unaware of. Toni was more confident now, moving through the burnt metal with more confidence than before. She jumped down a shaft with Kei close behind.  
  
Down there, it was more a cave, than a metal obstruction. There was someone standing there whom Toni kneeled before.  
  
"Apologies, AlbinoWizardmon. I haven't found anything more," She said to the one named AlbinoWizardmon.  
  
It took a moment for this to register within Kei's mind. Toni was talking to an actual digimon!  
  
"Wait. We must not speak. Another is near," it said, with a voice poetic and beautiful, yet scary and commanding.  
  
"Oh, right, the one who was following me. Should I eat him?"  
  
"No, we should add him to our ranks. Oh, and your previous captive is doing well."  
  
It was at this point that Kei noticed a seemingly dead figure in the corner, but had no time to examine, because Toni turned towards him. With quick reflexes, he grabbed a hold in the wall and climbed back out of the hole.  
  
He ran to the edge of the building, and then realized there was no floor. He grabbed a pole, pulled himself up, and, with a flurry of movement, slid the whole way back to the ground. Well, almost, because a person toting twin guns and a white monkey on her hat happened to be climbing up simultaneously. Kei screamed during the impact, and fell out of consciousness.  
  
When he woke up, the monkey was still dazed. The other figure seemed fine.  
  
". You seem familiar." Kei said to the living humanoid.  
  
"Really? I'm getting that sort of vibe, but I figured your drop kick was the reason," It replied.  
  
"Hm. Heheh, I guess so. My name's Kei, yours?" He offered.  
  
"My name? Triggamon: the lone gunwomon, of course! Oh, and the mammal over there is Ubeekimon," Triggamon replied.  
  
Kei was silent for a moment. Another one, too. Nothing could describe the thoughts going through his head. {Why are Ubeekimon and Triggamon real? Who was that dead body? What the heck is going on here?} He thought. As he contemplated this, Ubeekimon began to speak.  
  
"Bing tiddle bong?" He asked.  
  
"Bong tiddle tiddle bong tiddle bong tiddle," Kei replied.  
  
"Are you my mother?" Ubeekimon asked.  
  
". No." Kei said, noting his ice-blue watch, "But. I think I may be something else."  
  
-End of chapter three-  
  
Now I think I'll stop writing for a few months and let you ponder at the suspense in wonder-ment. Peace all! 


	4. Chapter Fore

CHAPTER FORE! Heheh, little golf joke there.  
  
(DISCLAIMER- Anyone who has read my friend ddestind9's fics knows about the digi-watches, though I did have the original idea in my first, very bad fic. As always, I don't own Digimon. I DO own Dark Happy, Crazy Bob, and Nikolai, however.)  
  
After I returned from my daze, I found myself in a cubbyhole caved into the metal. Triggamon had heard something outside and went to check it out. In the meantime, I closely examined Kei.  
  
Blue hair cascading past his ears and skin tanned as a man living on the beach. A blue sweater and jeans, too. You could see this guy's favorite color.  
  
I wanted to find my partner again.  
  
I really did.  
  
But a totally new acquaintance barely able to speak in Bongese was a tad much. My partner was totally different! He was taller, for one, and never left home without his shades. This blue-haired buffoon couldn't be my tamer!  
  
And yet. .. There was no mistaking his Digi-watch; it even had the crest of humor emblazoned on the back, just like how Kaz and I carved it. There was only one way to make sure.  
  
"Hey, kid. .." I began.  
  
"It's Kei," Kei quickly answered.  
  
"Yeah, right, kid. Check your watch there." I directed.  
  
"Okay. .." He obeyed.  
  
"Press the button farthest to the left. What does it say?" I asked.  
  
"It says, 'Enter name.' K-E-I. 'Now processing Hunter information,'"  
  
"Okay, now you're in. Go to the hunter database. Is there a Kaz listed there?"  
  
"Yes, but it doesn't have any data."  
  
"Huh. Now, search your own name."  
  
"Well, there's a picture of me, your name, and it seems to have a super-advance radar, because it's picking me up in a green color, and you, you're orange. There are three red dots and a yellow one moving towards us pretty quickly."  
  
"What?! Red dots. ..! Kid, we gotta get going!" I jumped on his head.  
  
He seemed puzzled, so I informed him that my being the leader among us two meant him being a taxi service. "We" ran away from the pursuers surprisingly fast. I turned and saw that all four pursuers were humanoid, two with bizarre hats on, one with brown hair, and one with red hair. One of them yelled at us, "Take cover, guys! Lead Zeppelin!" At this, I realized one was Triggamon.  
  
Her attack had no effect whatsoever, sadly. Our pursuers were gaining quickly. Suddenly, one digimon attacked, "White Magical Game!" As a result, all colors in the spectrum reversed, then went back to normal.  
  
"Brilliant move, there! You might as well blow bubbles at us, or give us little turkeys for dinner!" I taunted, then whispered, "Kid, gimme your watch!"  
  
He did, and I grabbed. Shifting the mode back to data, considering the radar was mostly useless, I looked up the one attacking with the White Magical Game. He was AlbinoWizardmon, leader of the Digital Vampires. His other moves were Blood Suck, which, well, sucked blood and data from humans and digimon, and the Deadly Portal, which summoned other digimon.  
  
I also checked the others. Triggamon had no data, but the others had Digi-Vampire data as Mayuko and Toni.  
  
"Bloo-" He began, but was cut short. A flash of steel busted his hat off, so of course he had to grab it and return it to its previous position before I got a glimpse of his bald head. "Who did that?" he demanded.  
  
"I did," a deep, gravelly voice with an oddly British tone spoke up.  
  
I used the watch to scan his voice. There was no data at all.  
  
"Where are you?" I cautiously pondered.  
  
Immediately, a spider-like black-clad creature appeared on a nearby protrusion and jumped after Kei and I. "Samurmon! Where'd you go?" A voice called out. I did get information on that one. It was the Hunter Zenko, who had no partner digimon data. It was probably the ninja spider.  
  
"I'm here, Zenko, saving a few helpless dimwits from two Digi- Vampires," It replied  
  
"Wha? What's a Digi-Vampire?" Kei begged like the guileless fool he was.  
  
"Ahem. Let me field this one, 'Samurmon'. A Digi-Vampire is a being that sucks blood and data from humans and digimon. Any who have a bond with another sort are considered "succulent" and tend to be made into more Digi-Vampires. By the way, though defeated digimon give data to the one who wins, we only recycle them into more digimon. These guys just take it for power and pleasure," I explained.  
  
"Well. We're lucky AlbinoWizardmon hasn't attempted to kill us, then," Kei pointed out.  
  
"Good idea! Deadly Portal! Chuumon, come forth!" AlbinoWizardmon ordered.  
  
At these utterances, multiple Chuumon fell from a spooky occult-style hole in the sky.  
  
"Brilliant, kid," I grumbled, "How are we going to beat these guys?"  
  
"You're the digimon, how should I know?" Kei curtly replied.  
  
"Six-to-three odds, I'm not liking them!" Triggamon fearfully commented.  
  
"Whisper Voice!" The approaching Chuumon attacked. From the blue, an amazingly strong wind picked up and knocked us all down. It hurt.  
  
Of course, a bunch of them were hit and fell, too. Lucky, lucky us.  
  
"If we make it through this, remind me to kill you, Kei," I said before leaping into the fray with Triggamon and Samurmon.  
  
-End chapter-  
  
How great. Next chapter, the other Hunters and their digimon come in! I can't wait! 


	5. Five alive!

Chapter Five-Alive!  
  
(I apologize to the British, and the communists who are reading this story, and I've replaced all swears with the word "taco".)  
  
Watching the battle, Kei wondered why no one on his side was actually attacking. They were just sort of. .. Losing. As the wind picked up, Zenko fell to the ground, unconscious, and the gales also knocked Ubeekimon into Kei, causing both to fall down. Eventually, Kei decided to help. He ran away, leaping past the shrapnel and ducking through the foliage.  
  
"Brilliant time to leave, kid. .." Ubeekimon muttered as he tried again to attack, to no avail, and shrieked, "STUPID WHITE MAGICAL GAME!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Panting, Kei jumped up the front steps of Mayuko's house. He knocked three times on the front door and was greeted by Mayuko's mother.  
  
"Oh, hello, Kei! Are you bringing today's homework? Not good to get behind, even when you're sick! Lazy little fat kids! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" She said hysterically, letting him in.  
  
Kei walked up to Mayuko's room. He saw a figure in her bed, so he walked in and flicked the light switch on. He began to talk to her, but realized it would be like a dull stabbin' knife: Pointless. The figure he saw was. BRITISH! Okay, I kid. It was, in fact, a broomstick with a red wig on it.  
  
"I don't suppose you'd know where Mayuko was. .." Kei jested, making conversation with the dummy Mayuko.  
  
He went over the situation in his mind. Zenko was out of it, so he wouldn't be any help, Mayuko WOULD be great, but wasn't here. The digimon couldn't seem to fight. ..  
  
Kei snapped his fingers. "Ebizo!"  
  
He left the house, only barely alerting Mayuko's insane mother to his leaving.  
  
"-TACO-ING COMMUNIST!!!!!!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ubeekimon was in trouble. The Chuumon were - quite literally - biting his tail off. {Why did you leave, Kei? I could have used your help.}  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kei stood in front of in front of Ebizo's house, it being next door to Mayuko's. He rang the doorbell and waited a moment. Ebizo opened the door, hamburger in hand.  
  
"Ebizo I've got to tell you this Toni's some kinda vampire and Ubeekimon Triggamon and Samurmon are in a really big fight and Mayuko wasn't there and-" Kei blathered.  
  
"Whoa. Slow down there man. Come in here, we can fully discuss it - whatever it is - in private," Ebizo calmly instructed. He opened the door and walked back through, Kei trailing closely behind.  
  
"Now. First off, WHAT did you say Toni was?" Ebizo asked as they walked into his room.  
  
"A vampire. Or a Digi-Vampire. I'm not sure," Kei replied, ducking through Ebizo's low doorway.  
  
"Hmm. And you say Ubeekimon, Triggamon, and Samurmon are fighting?" Ebizo continued.  
  
"Yep."  
  
". .. Well then, get ready! RubyTentomon, it's safe."  
  
A small insect, seeming like a Tentomon, but mostly translucent and reddish jumped out from under Ebizo's bed.  
  
"I'm ready and willing to help, sir!" It saluted.  
  
"Right. Just lemme download a few power-up files from the Hunter Database," Ebizo said, plugging his watch into his computer.  
  
"Hunter Database?" Kei asked.  
  
"Well, sure. The Hunters destroy bad digimon, and their website lets you upload a few power-up files, depending of your rank.  
  
He paused a moment as Kei wondered why he never heard of the Hunters before.  
  
"There. Now, you go, Kei," Ebizo instructed with an air of sureness.  
  
Kei did. He chose to download heal.exe, strenth.exe, and bigpainfulchainsaw.exe, for good measure. They ran out of Ebizo's house and dashed to the battlefield.  
  
It was not a pretty sight. Ubeekimon was lying limp, Triggamon caught up in a miniature tornado, and a small army of Chuumon was cornering Samurmon.  
  
"Aw, -TACO-! They're all -TACO-ing dying and you had to just -TACO-ing leave them to -TACO-ing go to -TACO-!" Ebizo yelled.  
  
"But you're here now! You're a pro!" Kei argued, "Aren't you?"  
  
"Well. .. Not as such. .. I only joined half a week ago. .." Ebizo admitted.  
  
"Oh. -TACO-." Kei swore, "Oh well. Someone with a small amount of skill ought to be able to figure this out. Ebizo, do you- Ebizo?"  
  
Kei glanced where his companion previously stood. He wasn't there. Ebizo was, in fact, standing right next to the battle, ordering RubyTentomon around. Kei had to help, too. Acting entirely from hope, he randomly pressed buttons on his watch, and a mini-list popped up. He pressed some more buttons, getting the hang of it this time, and chose to run the file "heal.exe".  
  
Immediately, Ubeekimon was up, just a bit dazed. Kei, realizing how it worked, decided to run "strength.exe". Hoping Ubeekimon would be able to attack more, he was surprised when there was a loading screen, with at least ten minutes to go!  
  
"Kid. .. ya know. .. the -taco-. .. watches have. .. the small fuel capacity." Ubeekimon advised, getting his strength back.  
  
"Well. .. If you're the Ubeekimon I created, then go and freeze 'em! They won't lay a claw on you!" Kei encouraged.  
  
"Okay! Arctic Freeze!" Ubeekimon attacked as an approaching Chumon stopped moving, then sped up again and hit Ubeekimon by another gust. Ubeekimon countered with a Frozen Dagger move and stabbed the Chumon, making it disappear..  
  
"Great! Just keep moving and wear 'em down!" Kei cheered, but it was a tad early to celebrate.  
  
AlbinoWizardmon was standing over him, looking menacing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yaay. Chapter five is done. 


	6. Six is a Stupid Number, Anyway

This chapter's sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick.  
  
I was busting up the Chumon, as per Kei's order, figuring his saving my life/data deserved a favor of sorts. So I attacked the Chumon, but he was unaffected. I decided to call out the big guns and stab him with pure ice. Needless to say, its data flew away like so many lost dreams. .. and my partner.  
  
Anyway, another two Chumon were much smarter than the previous ones. They snuck up behind me and pinned me to the ground with wind. My hair was ruffled as a result. That was what made me mad. Not the fact that AlbinoWizardmon had Kei in a choker hold, sapping away his lifebloods. You see, if I saw that, I just would have said "fair enough" and continued my search for my partner.  
  
But anyway.  
  
My hair was ruffled, and everyone knows that you won't make a good Most Powerful One On Earth with messy hair.  
  
No, I'm NOT setting my sights high.  
  
And here I go, getting off track again.  
  
The fury of it all sent a power rushing through my body. It was the only thing I had waited for besides my partner. It was the Digivolution!  
  
I felt the changes immediately. My ears shrunk and grew farther back on my head. My nose elongated. I dropped to a typical quadruped position, and my whole body grew about four times to what it previously was!  
  
I was GlaciVulpemon, the icy wolf.  
  
"Oh. -Taco-," The first Chumon swore in fear.  
  
"Heheh. Bet you're scared of me now, eh? Big things come in small packages," I taunted.  
  
Some guy, who happened to notice this, decided to insult Kei, "Well, that means you DO have a-- Hey, what's the big idea?" He finished as he noticed Kei's rather unpleasant position.  
  
The joker was fairly tall, but. Well, you remember "The Nutty Professor"? Yeah. That's him. Oh, and is hair was more ruffled and brown.  
  
Once again, I get off the beaten path.  
  
Thankful that HE wasn't my partner, I decided to save Kei's life. Focusing all of my energy, I unleashed the move I didn't know I had.  
  
"Freeze. .." I began powering up, "FRAME!!!"  
  
The results were incredible. All of a sudden, the world just. .. Stopped. It was so cool. I glanced behind myself and noticed all the approaching Chumon. Then I froze the closest one and poked him, watching the ice crystals fall as his data dissolved.  
  
"Now," I said menacingly, "Down to business."  
  
Leaping up to AlbinoWizardmon, I began pulling his hands, prying Kei out of them. After all, no matter how ignorant or useless a person is, no one deserves to spend the rest of their natural existence as a vampire.  
  
I can't believe I said that.  
  
Anyway, I was trying to get Kei off, swallowing my pride and biting, kicking, and scratching, when something fell out of Kei's pocket.  
  
The Digi-watch.  
  
It had finished loading, and apparently wasn't affected by my freeze frame, but that wasn't what I needed. There was only one way to get a vampire who's attached to person off, at least as far as I knew. And even this was speculation. Kei might have already been a vampire, and I'd never tried this before.  
  
I tapped a bunch of different buttons. Digital entity scan. .. Hunters. .. area code. .. 254. .. Execute!  
  
All of a sudden, the sky went black, and a funnel appeared above the battlefield. The other good digimon, no longer frozen, were sucked up, along with their respective partners. Kei was already halfway up, right by me. The vampire Mayuko flew up too, as Toni, along with AlbinoWizardmon, somehow managed to grab Triggamon's ankles and came up, too.  
  
I grabbed Kei's hand with my still not having de-digivolved. Kei, getting the picture, managed to swing me in their direction. I prepared a blast of cold air, hoping that they would lose their grip and fall off. Toni shivered in frozen pain, but kept her grip. AlbinoWizardmon, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky.  
  
As he fell to the ground, I glimpsed the Chumon, taking cover underneath metal obstructions and scurrying away, hoping not to be found by their angry master.  
  
"That's not going to help the city's rat problem," The fat child known as Ebizo joked as the vortex sucked us up.  
  
I thought of freezing time again, to get rid of Toni, but it occurred to me that the vortexes were short of time and space itself, and so stopping the movement of both would destroy all existence. Probably.  
  
It was all speculation, of course, which is why I keep World Domination Plan "B".  
  
I guessed we'd have to do with two vampires on the team.  
  
Suddenly, the "air" around us was brightening - going from dark blues and blacks to bright greens and oranges - So we all knew the vortex was closing. Upon impact, I became glad that we landed in a tree because of the Merman below, starting a forest fire.  
  
It glanced upwards and looked straight at me. 


	7. Chapter Seven Has Been Leavened

Chapter seven's been leavened.  
  
I was truly fearful. The last time I went head-to-head with a champion was two and a half years ago, when Kaz disappeared. I tried to climb higher up the tree, but I bumped into Kei. I forgot - I was a champion, too!  
  
"Allow me to field this match, then. .. I am, after all, a master fighter," I bragged.  
  
"Yeah, a master fighter, just like Link, with his pansy outfits and swords of which he would be unable to succeed without. Wimp," Ebizo retorted.  
  
"Ebizo, now would not be a good time to make the strongest one here mad. .." A nearly transparent beetle next to him urged with a scared voice, as though he was afraid of rejection.  
  
"Aw, c'mon, no biggee. He's over THERE, on THAT branch. WE'RE over HERE, on THIS branch. Clumsy oaf couldn't get over here if he tried!" Ebizo laughed.  
  
"Hey, quiet, fatso! I could take you on, anytime, anywhere!" I challenged.  
  
"I'd like to see you try, you stupid ba-" His witty repartee was cut short when he stood up. He forgot that he was in a tree and fell to the ground. Right in front of the Meramon. RubyTentomon was following closely behind.  
  
"Ha, ha. Serves him right," I taunted victoriously.  
  
"Ubeekimon, this isn't good," Kei disciplined, knocking me on the head.  
  
"Kei, my name's GlaciVulpemon," I mimicked, knocking Kei on the head.  
  
"Grr. .." Kei growled as he bashed me across my skull.  
  
"Grr. .." Once again I mimicked as I mashed the side of his face in.  
  
"Guys, shut up! Ebizo needs help down there!" Mayuko, who apparently wasn't a vampire after all, ordered.  
  
"Weren't you a vampire?" Kei wondered.  
  
"I was? Oh yeah. .." She trailed off.  
  
At that point, I de-digivolved back to Ubeekimon. Maybe it was because I ran out of energy during the teleportation, maybe I was calming down, or maybe my brain would have exploded with all of that confusingness, who knows? I just knew that I was pretty -taco- mad at shrinking.  
  
"Okay, you guys won't help, I guess I've got to help 'im. I can't believe I'm actually on your side here," Zenko complained, starting onto the battlefield, but losing his nerve upon sight of the distance from the ground. Ebizo had landed much lower in the underbrush, possibly due to his weight. Samurmon leapt helplessly to the side as well. Ebizo had landed much lower in the underbrush, possibly due to his weight  
  
"I guess it's all up to them now. .." Triggamon whispered ominously.  
  
Rubytentomon, gathering up all his strength and courage, attacked, "Crystal Wave!" as a beam of hydrogen and oxygen centered through Meramon's chest.  
  
"Heheh. .. A nice bath of lightning before I FINISH YOU OFF! BURNING FLAME!!!" He attacked, causing Ebizo's jacket to catch fire.  
  
"YIYIYIYIYI!!! IT BURNS!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Ebizo screamed, apparently unaware of the elementary flame law to stop, drop, and roll.  
  
"I didn't mean to hit you, I was aiming for your partner. .." Meramon admitted, and then continued, "BURNING FLAME!!!"  
  
"Not again!" RubyTentomon yelled, flying into its path and blocking the attack with super-thick, metallic, forearm guards. I could see singe marks, though. ..  
  
"Yaaaay! You can do it, RubyTentomon! I won't even have to physically exert myself and get tired!" Ebizo jubilantly exclaimed!  
  
Of course, that sureness of victory only made the Meramon more intent on fighting.  
  
"Fireball!" He yelled, summoning a huge flaming ball of flames. It was flamey, and knocked RubyTentomon to the ground on impact.  
  
"Aw, -taco-! RubyTentomon, get up! This sports jacket wasn't cheap!" Ebizo urged, ever protective over his twenty-dollar "Mets" jacket.  
  
"Urgh. .. I'm sorry. .. sir. .." RubyTentomon whispered as it crumpled to the ground, twitching. I never realized how powerful fireballs were.  
  
"Heheh. .. Now. .. Maybe the next challenger could prove to be my match. Or at least take more than three minutes to beat. Whichever comes first," The Meramon offered, willing to compromise.  
  
That said he burned the branch we were standing on, causing us to fall to the ground with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.  
  
I began stepping out, when Kei pulled me back.  
  
"You idiot, you CAN'T hurt him! All your attacks will melt before they get near him!" Kei lectured, obviously unaware that I had been volunteering Triggamon.  
  
"I'll go. I've got to help my friend. Zenko?" Samurmon valiantly proposed.  
  
"Sure. Flamingsword.exe, activate!" Zenko yelled, holding up his watch to Samurmon's now fiery blade.  
  
"Bushido Dance!" Samurmon attacked, with many a swift motion, jump, and slash at Meramon.  
  
"Ha! You think that can harm me? Pathetic," Meramon began, "FIREBALL!!" Focusing this time, he unleashed a humongous flame and crashed Samurmon into a tree.  
  
"What did I say about challenges?" Meramon taunted, "I doubt any of you can win!"  
  
"Don't be so sure! Bubble crash!" RubyTentomon, who had regained consciousness, attacked, send a giant bubble down to pop and lightly splatter Meramon with. .. Water.  
  
"Ha! You might as well give me little turkeys for dinner, or temporarily invert the world's palette of colors!" Meramon bragged.  
  
"That sounds strangely familiar. .." I wondered. If you don't remember, re-read chapter 4.  
  
"Crystal Wave!" RubyTentomon attacked, with a bit more success than his previous attempt.  
  
Meramon, having a brilliant idea that I would have tried earlier had I not been watching the fight, powered up a Burning Flame and launched it not at RubyTentomon, but at a tree. The tree, shocked by the blast, began falling on top of RubyTentomon and Ebizo.  
  
RubyTentomon had no time to think, rather, he digivolved. Spectacularly, too. His head grew first, gaining a forked horn. Wings came next, nearly tripling in size. Then, his limbs thickened to the rough size of tree trunks. All that was very out of place, considering his upper body size. It exploded into a buff chest, like new porcupine on the block. All the wilderness, with the ruggedness. And the use of lyrics from Marlon Saunders's song.  
  
He stood a good eight feet tall, and, with a deft movement, grabbed the tree. He took it and bashed Meramon's ugly face in. Calmly waving to him, the newly made CrystalKabuterimon created a wave of high-quality H2O and doused Meramon's very data. It dissolved and floated away.  
  
The next part is what I complain about: the cheering. After CrystalKabuterimon de-digivolved, which was very soon, the humans and Triggamon lifted RubyTentomon of the ground, singing about how jolly good he was. Well, Zenko was trying to revive Samurmon, but oh well. Why couldn't I have been cheered for? I saved them from a vampire! Jeez, humans.  
  
Then, a bone chilling reunion from an unseen acquaintance: "So, I see you've got some power. Maybe it would be interesting to destroy you. .." It was Toni! She finally got through the many vines and braches previously separating us, and was ready to bite, when, from her watch, a voice was heard. She was a Hunter too!  
  
"Toni! Warp us in! I command you!" It said. "Partners. .." she muttered, as she beamed up to the real world.  
  
"Well, how's that for Deus Ex Machina?" A newly awakened Samurmon asked, rejoining the group.  
  
"Heh. Listen, I got some errands to run in a nearby city. I'm sure all you digimon have heard of Music City, right? Could we go there?" I asked, hoping democracy would work best when I was the smallest.  
  
What were those errands? To find my REAL partner, of course! If he weren't there, there'd be a hint as to his location. Or the new Ted Poley release. Whichever came first. 


	8. I Ate chapter 8

I Ate Chapter Eight. I'm tired, okay?  
  
"Can we rest sometime soon? I think I feel a stroke coming. .." The fat child known as Ebizo complained. I can't believe his laziness! I wasn't tired at all, and I'm three feet tall! Sure, I was standing on RubyTentomon's transparent red back, but had I been his size, I'd be dashing to the City of Music.  
  
"We just stopped ten minutes ago, Ebizo! Though I would like to ask, why are we staying here? Can't you go alone Ubeekimon?" The red-haired female one known as Mayuko wondered.  
  
"I'll tell ya why! 'Cuz your dimension is crawling with vampires. They all want Hunters. Apparently Hunter blood tastes better than most, or something. .." The brilliant one known as Ubeekimon, i.e. me, answered.  
  
"That's what I want to know! What's with these Hunters? Are there more?" My blue-haired partner, Kei asked me with his drooling primate face. Darn monkeys. Wait a second. ..  
  
"I'll take this one, Ubeekimon. Hunters are the protectors of worlds. All of 'em have partners, from their respective alternate dimensions. They are devoted to the extermination of vampiric digimon. There are quite a few over here, you know," My good friend Triggamon intelligently replied.  
  
"That's right. They were started by us digimon, but it didn't work. We needed to get stronger, so a few of us decided to bridge the gap between our world and yours. The constant power surges allowed us to digivolve, but some humans came through. .. Thus, Hunter Inc. was born!" My trusty steed RubyTentomon added.  
  
"Not that it's all good. We're hated by most. The Vampires seem to be stronger, faster, and smarter, the fewer there are. We kill them, but they come right back. I think it has to do with server space and stuff. .." The mysterious ninja Samurmon contemplated.  
  
"Ha! We can beat them, hands down! Right Samurmon?" Zenko, the "Digimon Grand Master" as he liked to be called, bragged.  
  
Before he could reply, Samurmon began to fizz. There was really no other way to describe it, he just rippled for a half-second, and appeared to spasm after crouching on the ground. A storm seemed to occur over the horizon, too. "Hey, why's Samurmon acting all weird?" Ebizo asked, but before I could make a snide comment, he leaped to the air and faded away. Darn ninja.  
  
"Well, where'd he go?" Kei impatiently demanded.  
  
Zenko pulled out his watch. Pressing a small button on the left, he pointed forward. "He's that way."  
  
"Good, 'cuz Music City's over there too!" I exclaimed, as I rode out of sight on top of RubyTentomon, "I'm coming, R-- I mean, we're coming, Samurmon!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
After well over half an hour of running/standing, I could see Music City over the horizon. The last time I saw this view was the last time I saw my partner. I could see the image in my mind:  
  
"No! You can't leave! You're the best Hunter around, and if you stop, we're all dead!" I had yelled, trying to stop him from zapping himself out of reality.  
  
"I have no point to live anymore. I can't fight vampires. SHE's one of them. I fight them, I fight her. My need is gone, you know?" He stopped walking to fiddle with his watch.  
  
"If you die, then even finding a remedy won't change a thing! We have to try, no matter what!" I had argued, losing my patience.  
  
"There's no more TIME to discuss it. I'm doing this, and you can't change it!" He said, "Oh taco, they're coming," He replied, seeing a giant evil horned dog approaching, complete with walking human/vampire entourage. Immediately, I--  
  
"Well? Where's Samurmon? Mayuko impatiently interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"I DON'T KNOW, OKAY?!" Zenko and I simultaneously yelled.  
  
"You may not, but I do," An eerie figure replied.  
  
"AAAAAHH!!! MONSTER!!!" Someone who most certainly wasn't me (cough cough) fearfully screamed.  
  
"Oh, it's you Samurmon. That's happy-making," mindless Neanderthal Kei blathered like the lesser under-evolved mammal he was.  
  
I'm not bitter. He just rarely makes sense.  
  
"Not for you. Bushido Dance!!!" Samurmon attacked, leaping to Zenko (I applaud his intelligence) with his sword prepared to stab. Not that I have any problem with stabbing, of course.  
  
Evidently, Triggamon did.  
  
Leaping in front of Zenko, she leveled her gun at Samurmon and fired. Miss.  
  
"My, what a great shot you are. Follow Blade!" Samurmon prepared, regaining his footage on the ground in front of her. All eight feet quickly pulsed and pumped him back into the air. He tossed a single katana to the ground, which hit Triggamon, sending her to a convenient dirt pad in front of Mayuko.  
  
"You can't lose now Triggamon! This ought to help! Bigpainfulchainsaw.exe!" Mayuko activated bigpainfulchainsaw.exe, giving Triggamon a big, painful looking chainsaw. Of course, Triggamon did not get up, being unconscious.  
  
Having nothing to lose, I decided to. .. No, not buy a copy of the new Legend of Zelda game; though I wish I had; I decided to help! I froze some water out of the air's moisture above Triggamon's head and let loose. After about four minutes of hearing spluttering and spitting and gasping and screaming and drowning, I decided that helping was too much trouble and sat down again. It's not easy freezing moisture, folks!  
  
Lucky for me, Triggamon was no longer not anti-unconscious. Samurmon, deciding to be honorable or whatever waited until then to strike. However, Triggamon was ready with the chainsaw. Mmm, chainsaw.  
  
"Ha. Don't you realize that if you attack me you kill Samurmon instead? Pathetic," The evidently only-partly Samurmon gloated like cheese on a monkey. Lucky for us, a herd of Ogremon chose to take that exact moment to pass by. He-who-was-not-Samurmon leapt on the opportunity to not be Samurmon and be a champion instead. How cute.  
  
You know, I hate being with all of these humans and easily-mind- controlled digimon. I've written a song about it. It's to the tune of "The Brady Bunch"!  
  
Here's the story Of a bunch of losers Who were really really really really dumb If it were for me They'd all be rat food But they don't care so let us move on to my verse.  
  
Here's the story Of a really smart monkey Who was better than a human, ain't it great? He was almost A real genius What the heck, I'll lie and say he really was.  
  
So the people and the monkey and the ninja Got together (Oh I hate them all so much) So they joined up To fight some evil That is why I hate them all so very much.  
  
So very much So very much That is why I hate them all oh so much!  
  
Did you like it? Of course you did, I wrote it.  
  
I'm getting off topic again, aren't I?  
  
Sorry about that.  
  
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah: the Ogremon.  
  
Indeed, being evil has its perks. For instance, you can betray anyone, and nobody else will eye a bat-lid. I mean, bat an eye-lid. The evil Ogremon busted up the caps of his entire lurching horde.  
  
Another advantage is the really cool evil laugh you get! "Mwahaahaha. .. You have no chance to survive make your time. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!" you can even re-use old jokes.  
  
"That's cruel. Triggamon, you avenge the busted caps of the cap- busted Ogremon," Zenko ordered. I have no idea what gave him that right.  
  
"Sure. LEAD ZEPPELIN!" Triggamon complied with Zenko's request.  
  
"YEARGH! BONE CUDGEL!" It yelled, throwing its bone at the incapacitated Samurmon.  
  
"Hey! No fair!" Triggamon leaped in Samurmon's way, taking the blow.  
  
"Hey. .. Thanks. .. Triggamon. .." Samurmon whispered, propping himself up with one of his arachnid legs, "Sword Beam!" (First ever author's note: I was watching Kirby, okay? A cookie for anyone who previously noticed the reference.)  
  
"Huh. Puny Rookies. YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!!! PUMMEL WHACK!!!" The angered Ogremon yelled, lopping off Samurmon's sword-arm. I couldn't say sword, that wouldn't be violent enough!  
  
"Hurgh. .. Don't be so sure. .." Samurmon whispered, barely able to keep his mind working.  
  
"DNA DIGIVOLUTION!" Both Triggamon and Samurmon yelled in synchronization.  
  
It was amazing. I'd never seen it before, I was half-dead when it last happened near me.  
  
Their bodies shimmered for a moment, as though they were apart from the stormy typhoon. They then seemed to fall apart, leaving only the wire frames that made up the Digital World. They changed, the polygons shifted into halves of a warrior. They came together, and became a digimon again.  
  
Standing at approximately ten feet, it was covered in guns, grenades, katana, and even some nun-chucks. You could see that this guy meant business. Long, blue hair, in an effeminate style, you nevertheless couldn't see whether this new digimon was inherently male, such as Samurmon, or naturally possessing female qualities, similar to Triggamon.  
  
"Wh- Wh- Who ARE you?" The Ogremon gaped. Evidently, he was a fan of Stinkoman, too.  
  
"I am Armegamon, the bringer of destruction. Prepare to perish. HOLOCAUST BLOW!" It spoke with a voice that knew all, as it were. The attack was like a nuclear strike, complete with multiple stabbings and explosions.  
  
"I'm not going to give up that easily. BONE-" The evil Ogremon was cut off by the most vicious attack of all.  
  
"EYE POKE!!!" The almighty Armegamon poked. After so long, the evil Ogremon was. .. Wait for it. .. BALEETED!!!!!!!!!!! (Second author's note: I promise, I'll lay off the Homestar copyright infringements from here on out.)  
  
And with that the evil was destroyed. I think. He might have just possessed a nearby innocent. I'm amazed that no one commented on the already dead innocent Ogremon. Oh, and Samurmon got his arm back!  
  
Ending notes:  
  
Next chapter will (probably) be in the point of view of the vampire Toni, written by the very person she is. .. Sort of based on, I.E. Toni! Oh, and remember: this chapter is the best, because it was released to the public on Death-To-Pikachu-Day! 


End file.
